We all know that as life changes so do relationships. Some we have our whole lives, some come and go like the seasons. They all generally teach us something whether it’s good bad or ugly. Something I have noticed is that relationships once you are a mother change. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. I like to think looking back now that big changes like motherhood really show you people true colours. It can be a relationship with a spouse, with close friends, and even family. I’m going to list a few where I noticed the biggest changes and how that can affect you as a person, mother, and human being.

Spousal Relationship- I have two very different experiences. I had my son when I was 19 years old. He is almost 7 now and he is a lot of the reason why I am the way that I am (in the best possible way of course). Unfortunately for his father and for my son, his dad pretty much checked out the day he was born. I don’t want to get too personal but some men and women too just aren’t cut out to be parents. No matter what the circumstance and age, genetically some of us just don’t have that gene in us. A lot of the time it isn’t realized until after the child is born and then that makes things more complicated for everyone. I am married now and together we have a baby girl who is now 5 months old. My husband was ready to be a father and it definitely brings out the best in him. We were a good team before but now we are an even better one. Raising a human being is a lot of work and it truly shows us our strengths, weaknesses, and how much we can actually do with no sleep whatsoever. It’s one of the biggest tests of a relationship because a lot changes for both parties.Your spouse is the only other person who knows EXACTLY what you are going through because they deal with it too.  This time around has been a lot better for me but unfortunately you can never really know until you’re in that position.

Friend Relationships- I’ve heard it all before. From the if you ever need me to watch the baby for a few hours while you nap I will, or I’ll pop over all the time to keep you company. Trouble is, reality hits and people are busy. Plain and simple we all have a lot going on in our lives. Friends who don’t have children find it very hard to relate to you when you have a child. It’s not their fault or yours, it’s just that now your life is consumed with this baby that you grew in your body for 9 months and now get to cuddle and gah gah over as much as you would like. Friendships that you have had all throughout your life are some of the hardest to keep going. You go through so many changes and when  person isn’t at the point you are in your life it can make it hard for both of you to relate as much as you used to. You go from having the chance to see these people as much as you want, to having to plan coffee dates and girls nights out 3 months in advance so you can prepare leaving your child for a few hours, actually getting yourself excited to go somewhere because you are dog tired, and trying your best to feel somewhat normal again for an evening. The good news is that when you do get to see your closest friends, even if it’s once in a blue moon, it’s as though time hasn’t passed at all. They still recognize you as you and understand your need for adult conversation and getting caught up on all the gossip you have missed in your baby bubble. It’s always quality over quantity. Treasure those 3 hour coffee chats, and 6 months in advance trips to the spa. That is going to be what you remember when you look back and reflect on your friendships.

Family Relationships- The teenage years seem to be when we really try to ignore our parents, get embarrassed by them, and think that they know nothing about life. Cause you know everything right? Becoming a parent yourself makes you realize that when you were younger, you knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and your parents knew EVERYTHING.Damn it. For the most part, these relationships become the strongest and more important in your life. After all, they are what shape you as a person, and your children are going to learn from the relationship that you not only have with them, but your own parents and family members too. It’s easy to say that Family is really important, but when you are building one of your very own it really becomes a reality. In most families, of course there are always the exceptions, they are the group of people that truly want the best for you. They’ve seen you through EVERY SINGLE STAGE of your life. From pooping in your diaper, to your first really bad break up, to having your first child. Now they will be there all over again for birthday parties, graduations, weddings, you name it. Family will always be there.

Relationships are always what you are going to be remembered for. Doesn’t matter if you have 5 friends or 50 friends. Either way you are going to be remembered by the people who knew you the best. People come and go from your life, that’s just the way it goes. At the time it seems more tragic than it really is because you don’t always see the bigger picture. The bigger picture is that, it’s the people that stuck around, were there when you needed them, backed off when you needed that too, and who have seen you hit rock bottom and climb the highest mountain. Motherhood makes you appreciate relationships because you want the very best for your children and want them to have people like that in their lives too. It makes you realize not only what is important but who is important. Motherhood gives you the reality check you have probably always needed, and the clarity when it comes to who people truly are. Thank goodness for motherhood. It’s a swift kick in the ass in the best possible way 🙂