against the grain – mamahildotcom

As we get older and experience more in life our emotions get deeper and more complex. Events happen, life changes us, and our emotions are no different. Over time we accumulate what some may call “emotional baggage” Some of us have more than others depending on our different experiences and how we reacted (or didn’t react to them).

Some of us wear our emotions on the outside as well as feeling them on the inside. Whereas some people choose to hide them. They know that they’re there, but they have no intentions of letting anyone else see that. No matter what side of the coin you are on, one thing remains the same: WE ALL FEEL EMOTIONS.

There is a lot going on in day to day life. We clearly no longer live in a world of rotary phones and simpler times. There’s a lot of vocabulary, information, and opinions thrown at us every day. In an attempt to simplify things and show similarity I’ve narrowed it down to three emotions that I think we have all felt and could even be feeling at this very moment. You may not have felt all of these things but I am 99.9% sure that you have at least felt one of these emotions at some point in your life.

LONELINESS- I know that seems so weird because we have so many resources available to us to connect with people. Any day, anywhere, anytime. What we are lacking is the face to face connection. The one on one and deep conversations. You can text a friend for hours, but it ends up getting more irritating waiting for a response and we’ve all been guilty of reading into the tone of a text more than we should. In a time when we are constantly connected we find ourselves feeling more lonely than ever before. If anything it should teach us that we did survive before social networking and when it comes to our relationships with people, it’s okay to go back to basics. In fact, it’s much better for our health.

EXHAUSTION- I’m not just talking about being tired. I’m talking about ache in your bones, brain fog, not enough hours or coffee in the day to keep you going. How awful is it that we run ourselves ragged just to try and keep up or not miss out on something (some of us have a mad case of FOMO). Your brain is tired, you feel like you could cry at the drop of the hat, and it’s a struggle to move your body. Let me say something about this. THIS IS NOT OKAY AND IT CERTAINLY IS NOT HEALTHY. We all say we wish we could slow down but we don’t. Soooo we go on to run ourselves into the ground and then wonder why we feel exhausted? I do it too, but I can also admit that sometimes my exhaustion is self inflicted.

STRESS/ANXIETY- I may get some backlash for saying this, but I do feel as though the word anxiety is thrown around A LOT. That having been said, seeing how busy, and chaotic that life has become, it is no wonder that words such as anxiety have become more common. Stress is something I feel quite often. If I’m not stressing about getting my kids to activities or appointments, than it’s internal stress I put on myself like am I doing enough, am I enough? It’s crummy to think that this is the new normal and we’ve come to a point in time where if you aren’t questioning yourself or stressed out, than you must be doing something wrong. We’re always trying to keep up with something or someone, and stress is just the accomplice that goes along with that.

So yes we definitely have a lot thrown at us on the daily, BUT we have the ability to control how it affects us. Like any great skill, this takes practice, awareness, and wanting to make a change. We need to stop complaining about feeling these emotions which aren’t healthy or beneficial, and make a change. I definitely know I need too not only for my health but also for my sanity. Complaining is the new action. It’s easier to complain than to make a change. What we seem to forget is that what’s happening on social media isn’t as important as what is passing us by in the real world.

So together let’s make a change. Step back and focus on what’s really important. If you’re looking for a sign than here it is. I give you permission (not that you need it by any means), to simplify your life, and actually take your life back.

Mama Hil. xoxoxo

There are a lot of opinions out there on just about every topic you can imagine. Parenting is no exception to this. Social media definitely inflates this and can sometimes drive a parent to the brink of insanity by making us think that we need to care about anything and everything. I’m here to say that there are quite a few things when it comes to parenting my children that I just don’t care about. Sorry, they just aren’t on my radar. I am sharing them in an effort to perhaps help another parent who maybe feels the same way but doesn’t want to feel like a) a bad parent or b) like they are the only crazy one out there. Never fear I’m right here with you. So here it goes- the list of things I don’t care about but sometimes feel like I should.

Cleaning my kids toys- Nope sorry. I hate cleaning as it is and once my kids go to bed sitting down and wiping every single toy they touched is not high on my priority list. The dog just had it in there mouth? Cool. Dropped it in dirt? I’ll just wipe it on my already dirty shirt and we’ll be good to go. Germs are everywhere and I’m just not that mom that is going to try and fight every single one.

Packaged snacks in my kids lunches- My kids always get fruit and veggies in their lunches. I always say they eat better during the week when I have to make their lunches than they do on the weekends (cereal for lunch? sure thing!) BUT I don’t skimp on the slightly sugary snacks either. So yes my kids will get teddy grahams and fruit gummies in their lunches along with the good stuff. It’s the little things in life that really put a smile on their faces, so the sugar will remain in the lunchbox.

Occupying my kids ALL THE TIME- I love my kids obviously, but at some point all children need to learn how to occupy themselves and use their IMAGINATION. Nowadays it seems as though there is this pressure be on our kids all the time. CONSTANTLY engaging with them, activities for them to do, places to go and educate them. I am a firm believer that like adults, sometimes kids just need to be left alone. Don’t poke the bear. I am all for doing fun things with your kids but at the same time independent play is a beautiful thing not only for them but for you too.

Where my kids go to school- I could be totally wrong here, but I always believed that there are rough crowds everywhere. Every school has them. Elementary school, high school, colleges and universities, catholic, private, whatever may be out there. Real life entails some pretty rough and not so great people too. What school you go to doesn’t indicate what type of person you are going to be. All you can do is trust that your kids will choose to surround themselves with people that care about them.

At the end of the day “to each their own” You do you and I’ll do me. If there is anything that becoming a parent has taught me it’s that you need to pick your battles, toughen up your skin, and don’t lose sight of what is really important.

Stay in your lane and do what works best for your fam jam. It’s okay to agree to disagree. Every parent is different, every child is different, and every family is different. We’re all just flying by the seat of our pants most of the time anyways. So let’s raise a glass (it’s 5 o’clock somewhere) and show some solidarity with fellow parents. At the end of the day we all end up feeling like snack bitches, chauffeurs, maids, and personal chefs on the daily.

If there is anything I want you to take away from this it’s a good laugh and the feeling of knowing that you aren’t alone. You’re never alone

Mama Hil.xo