sorrynotsorry

Give Yourself A Break

Well summer is officially here. The kids are PUMPED and the questions of “What are we doing today?!” or “Where are we going?!” are upon us. Every summer I worry that I’m not going to have enough for my kiddies to do or they are going to look back and think “That was the worst summer ever.” While I do have day trips planned I’ve decided to “TRY” and be chill this summer. Take the pressure off of myself and get rid of the guilt that can sometimes consume me. In true Mama Hil fashion here is a list of ways I plan to take it easy on myself (feel free to be inspired and do the same for yourself).

1- Let my kids play. . .by themselves! Crazy concept I know. Use your imagination kids! I remember when I was a kid, after a school year of been hovered over by teachers, I wanted my parents to give me some space. I get sucked into feeling guilty as a parent and feel like I should ALWAYS be right with my kids doing what they’re doing. I have come to realize though that when I get involved too much, I either annoy my kids or that’s when the fights break out (go figure). So this summer parents, when your kids are hanging outside, pull up a lawn chair, maybe read that book that’s collecting dust, and let their creativity take over for them.

2- Yes my kids will have screen time this summer. . .#sorrynotsorry Some parents are very strict about screen time with their kids. That is totally cool with me #youdoyou. We all have certain things we’re more strict with. There is no right way to parent and every kid is different. But in the morning when I am trying to make myself presentable (you’re welcome) or if I’m looking for just a half hour of quiet time, the tv will most likely be going on. Just like adults need their chill time, kids like that too. So if you need just a few moments of sanity, than feel free to flip on that telly.

3- It’s okay to not go on a million road trips- A lot of the time kids think because they are on summer vacation, the rest of the world is too. Sorry kids. There are summer camps for a reason. Parents work and still have to adult throughout the week. As a parent, guilt once again may trick you into believing that you have to drive for a few hours in every direction to really mean that you took your kids somewhere. Most times I find that taking your kid to your towns splash pad or park is more exciting for them than anything you took months planning. Think like a kid this summer. Keep it simple and realize that if you’re working all summer and don’t have the ability to take your kids all over, chances are they are totally okay with it.

4- Smores, watermelon, and ice cream on the menu- Come summertime, parents no longer have to pack lunches (bonus) and the heat implies yummy treats and smore filled fire nights. Somedays your kids aren’t going to eat all their fruits and vegetables, and it may seem like their diet consists of more sugar than usual. Having a bit more sugar, and relaxed menu throughout the summer won’t destroy your kids for life. I remember living off popsicles on really hot days, and hot dogs because we clearly had sophisticated pallets. Maybe take it down a notch and remember what it was like to be a kid. Most of us turned out just fine. Spending more time outside is more beneficial than planning a five course meal every night.

5- Yes splash pads and pools do count as baths- Sandboxes, chlorine, beach days, sweating everywhere days, and that campfire smell. All of these things are the smells and grosseness (totally not a word but oh well) of summer. Chances are after long days and late nights, your kids aren’t going to be bathed as regularly. Parents are tired and we all know how kids feel about bathing. Kids don’t smell as much as adults do (sorry parents you need to keep showering for obvious reasons) so not bathing them EVERY SINGLE DAY doesn’t make you a bad parent. Loosen the reins and realize that if someone has an issue with your dirty kids, chances are they either don’t have children of their own, have serious control issues, or aren’t really your kind of people anyways.

I could go on and on about becoming more chill this summer and I get that for most of us it’s hard. One thing I’m pretty strict on is keeping a semi decent bedtime because come September it’ll be a tricky transition back into the school routine if I don’t. See, we all have our thing. Maybe you are thinking “I cancel my cable for the summer for no screen time” or “My kids will have no extra sugar over the summer” and that is completely cool with me. As parents we all feel guilty about different things, and we all definitely have very different kids. Some need structure, and some love to be wild and free over the summer. My Motto for this summer is “If it doesn’t go with the flow, than let it go.” Stay on your path, do what you wanna do for the summer, and lay off on the comparison and guilt trips for a few months. Your sanity will thank you.

Mama Hil.xo

 

Things I should care about. . .but don’t

There are a lot of opinions out there on just about every topic you can imagine. Parenting is no exception to this. Social media definitely inflates this and can sometimes drive a parent to the brink of insanity by making us think that we need to care about anything and everything. I’m here to say that there are quite a few things when it comes to parenting my children that I just don’t care about. Sorry, they just aren’t on my radar. I am sharing them in an effort to perhaps help another parent who maybe feels the same way but doesn’t want to feel like a) a bad parent or b) like they are the only crazy one out there. Never fear I’m right here with you. So here it goes- the list of things I don’t care about but sometimes feel like I should.

Cleaning my kids toys- Nope sorry. I hate cleaning as it is and once my kids go to bed sitting down and wiping every single toy they touched is not high on my priority list. The dog just had it in there mouth? Cool. Dropped it in dirt? I’ll just wipe it on my already dirty shirt and we’ll be good to go. Germs are everywhere and I’m just not that mom that is going to try and fight every single one.

Packaged snacks in my kids lunches- My kids always get fruit and veggies in their lunches. I always say they eat better during the week when I have to make their lunches than they do on the weekends (cereal for lunch? sure thing!) BUT I don’t skimp on the slightly sugary snacks either. So yes my kids will get teddy grahams and fruit gummies in their lunches along with the good stuff. It’s the little things in life that really put a smile on their faces, so the sugar will remain in the lunchbox.

Occupying my kids ALL THE TIME- I love my kids obviously, but at some point all children need to learn how to occupy themselves and use their IMAGINATION. Nowadays it seems as though there is this pressure be on our kids all the time. CONSTANTLY engaging with them, activities for them to do, places to go and educate them. I am a firm believer that like adults, sometimes kids just need to be left alone. Don’t poke the bear. I am all for doing fun things with your kids but at the same time independent play is a beautiful thing not only for them but for you too.

Where my kids go to school- I could be totally wrong here, but I always believed that there are rough crowds everywhere. Every school has them. Elementary school, high school, colleges and universities, catholic, private, whatever may be out there. Real life entails some pretty rough and not so great people too. What school you go to doesn’t indicate what type of person you are going to be. All you can do is trust that your kids will choose to surround themselves with people that care about them.

At the end  of the day “to each their own” You do you and I’ll do me. If there is anything that becoming a parent has taught me it’s that you need to pick your battles, toughen up your skin, and don’t lose sight of what is really important.

Stay in your lane and do what works best for your fam jam. It’s okay to agree to disagree. Every parent is different, every child is different, and every family is different. We’re all just flying by the seat of our pants most of the time anyways. So let’s raise a glass (it’s 5 o’clock somewhere) and show some solidarity with fellow parents. At the end of the day we all end up feeling like snack bitches, chauffeurs, maids, and personal chefs on the daily.

If there is anything I want you to take away from this it’s a good laugh and the feeling of knowing that you aren’t alone. You’re never alone

Mama Hil.xo