Truthfully I have been wanting to do a blog post about being in a rut for quite sometime. I think it’s a feeling or a place that everyone can relate to. I would start something and then delete and then start again. It’s hard to describe and it’s different for everyone. It started out as talking about a “Mom Rut”, but mom’s aren’t the only ones that go through something like that. You could appear to have everything together and your life is going exactly where you want it to. . .and yet still feel stuck or in a weird place in life.

A rut can seem like it’s more of a crater at times. Or a deep hole that you can’t seem to climb your way out of. No matter what you decide to call this feeling or place in your life, it seems that the best way to describe it (and super sophisticated too) is blah. Not sure that is even considered a word but we’re going to go with it because it seems pretty universal.

We experience ruts for various reasons because well. . .life. There are always changes, and growing pains and forks in the road that are constantly challenging us and how we view our lives. I always say that when you are in the “rut” it’s okay to visit. Be there, feel what you need to feel BUT never unpack. Look at it as a rest stop in life, not your final destination.

Generally when you’re feeling stuck it’s most likely an inside job. Something underneath the surface needs to be acknowledged or an underlying problem needs to be addressed. It’s easy to magnify the negatives in our lives and point fingers at people who have caused us pain. Truthfully this does nothing for you. It won’t solve your problems, make you feel any better, or fix anything. What you need to be doing is taking a deeper look and try to focus on the good stuff you have going on around you. I know it sounds cliche but it can be the smallest thing that brings joy to your life (good is good right?!)

As someone who has been in a rut (if you say you haven’t you’re lying because we’ve all been there), I have some telltale signs that tell me I’m heading there if I’m not already there. We like to think ignorance is bliss, but it has its own way of catching up with us. So here is MY quick list/ signs of a rut:

1. Comfy clothes all day everyday (basically wearing anything with the word sweat in it)- Yes I am a stay at home mom, and some days we don’t leave the house. Unfortunately if I’m in deep I will go for days wearing SWEATshirts, SWEATpants (get my point), leggings, and yoga pants. Basically anything with spandex, two sizes two big, and doesn’t require a button. Sounds like a dream for some but I can feel the judgement coming even from my one year old.

2. Netflix and chill. . .and nothing else- We all love our Netflix, but generally you should try and socialize from time to time. Cuddling with my snaggle tooth bulldog apparently doesn’t count as socializing. The people that love you are good for your soul. . .and they’re also the one’s that don’t judge you when you wear sweatpants too much. (Side note- you should maybe put some jeans on when you go out with friends. Do your booty good)

3. Wine o’clock- Love me some wine. But when it starts to make an appearance more often than not, I know it’s time to break up. Apparently drinking wine doesn’t count as a serving of fruit and doesn’t hydrate you the same as water?!. . .I was shocked too.

You may be thinking at this point “wow okay so this mom of three is a lazy, sweatpant wearing, hermit alcoholic?” First of all no judgement zone here. Secondly, the things  I listed don’t all happen in the span of eight hours. If one of these scenarios keeps occurring, it usually wakes me up a little bit and I’m like okay let’s figure out what’s going on.

Joking aside it’s good to be able to know when you’re heading for a not so great place physically, mentally or emotionally. I put a light sarcastic spin on it but I know how crummy it feels to feel like you aren’t really going anywhere. We are our worst critics and we put more pressure on ourselves than anyone else. Pressure to do more, be more, make more. The comforting thought in all of this? You’re not alone when you feel like this. We all feel it at some point. We all deal with it differently. BUT the core emotion of being stuck/ in a rut (whatever you wanna call it go with that) is that it truly is a universal feeling.

Long story short, this feeling that you have isn’t going to go away unless you DEAL WITH IT. Yup, that’s right. I’m not saying you are going to have everything completely figured out by tomorrow, but you most definitely have to start acknowledging what is going on. Feelings and gut instincts are not to be ignored. Feeling in a rut is your wake up call or blessing disguise meant to bring your awareness back to yourself and what you’re needing more or less of in your life.

I’ve let you know that you’re not alone in feeling this way (while making me look fairly dysfunctional. You’re welcome), so now the ball is in your court to get yourself going again. Recognize when it’s happening and develop your own set of skills to help you move forward. Keep the conversation going about “The Rut” in case someone you know needs the same reassurance.

Mama Hil.xo